Its not just my kids

So my latest inspiration actually does not come from me wanting to send my own little bundles of joyful headaches packing but rather someone else's. Now keep in mind the only reason my kids are exempt are because I haven't seen them for a few days.
Our story begins on a vacation. Now keep in mind I am cheap but not necessarily by choice, let's think of it as broke on a budget. This mean when traveling by air I am usually alone. A family of four flying is more likely for us if we tie pillows to our butts and a cape around our neck before we jump off the roof....in other words it's a non occurence.
       Of course I already hate anyone who has brought their tiny terrors into what I consider my kid free zone. (disclaimer, please note I only hate you so much after a 26 hour drive to disney world. Of course you can afford to fly and that's your right to bring little timmy...but I still hate you)
Anyway I look around whilst boarding my carriage back to I miss mykidstillthefirstfightville and am thinking man this is a lot of kids I hope I'm not next to a screaming baby.
Screaming baby? Nope, I was actually blessed enough to be seated in front of satan's middle child. Now I will say that he did well for most of the flight but maybe being in the clouds so close to heavenly atmosphere agitated him because slowly I saw red.

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Revelations

So a few things have come to light these past few days which left me wondering where the emergency brake is on this thing called parenthood.

Revelation #1 All of a sudden I am no longer fun. My kids used to love me, thought I was great, and couldn't breathe without me. Now they tolerate me, think I'm embarrassing, and are suffocating when I'm near. Now I expected this change to occur eventually but not until the teenage years so I was kind of caught off guard. My husband says get used to. I said but everyone else's kids like me. He says that's how it works your kids won't think you are cool and they will be embarrassed when their friends think you are. Accept it and move on.

This light bulb clicked on over my head at the school dance we attended last night for my son. As he danced and mingled I realized he was kind of avoiding me. Trying to be the ever involved parent I kept approaching him and every time shot down! I noticed at one point I was literally chasing him as he was trying to get away from me. I thought what the heck I know he sees me, then it hit me...He does see me he is running from me! Sad face :( I gave up and realized I was meant to stand on the wall and dole out quarters and occasionally purchase a drink for them. Ok no harm no foul fine I get it. I move on to child number two who is having a ball dancing the night away. I jump in next to her in the cupid shuffle only to realize when I make the next turn to kick now kick now she too has abandoned me. Ok I can take a hint I walked it by myself back to my little lame parent corner and did my job of  having no fun.

Bet you suckas wanna see me tomorrow when you want breakfast or need laundry done, maybe I will walk away like I don't hear you. Just sayin

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Whose idea was that?

Ok so I know I have talked about bathrooms before but I had to take it back. I want the name right now of the person that designed bathroom stalls. I need to ask that person immediately why do they all have those stupid openings on the side? I mean when you put up a wall and a door it's for privacy right...well privacy does not include huge slats on the side of the door for people to watch me while I do my do. Now I know some of you reading this are thinking I NEVER look in those...LIE! I sit there uncomfortable every time I hear the door and pray that no one walks far enough down to pass my stall. I know they are going to act like they are not looking but I see you and your eyes peering at me as you rush past faking nonchalance. Why do you even look? What is that for? Are you making sure I am ok, are you getting a cheap thrill, or are you just that nosey that you don't care but you can't NOT look? You know what, I am going to bring a cup to keep outside the door and start charging for peeps every time I go in there now. Might as well be worth something.

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