Reason number 1. They can't put me in jail for the lessons I teach.
I've recently created a fagheeddaboutit box. What is this you wonder? Well this is a jail/hiding spot for things that drive mommy crazy. Strictly in relation to items that people in my house just said ahhhh fagdddaboutit and dropped said item they were holding right were they stood. Then carried on. No it need not make sense. Hot? Sure just put your sweater two steps over the threshold of the kitchen right here on the floor. Hang it up? Put it in your room? Fahgedddaboudit. Socks wet? Just go ahead step out of them right here in the hallway and leave it for others to step on and also wet their socks. Don't bother putting them down the laundry chute that's RIGHT NEXT TO YOU....Nope, Fagheeddaboutit. Please, like the makeup of a mine field if you could also ensure that if I was successful in catching the first one and stepping over it that you put the mate to that sock (also wet) in another location of inconvenience. Thanks. So I pick up these things lock them in the box and now you have to earn them back.
This makes sense, good location.>>>>>>
Reason number 2. Mental warfare that keeps on giving is way more effective than cutting off a finger that they will eventually learn to function without.
What fun is a puzzle with all the pieces?? Nah keeping them all together in the box? My children think that is OCD or something. No the right way to store a puzzle is complete and utter chaos on the floor of not only your bedroom but all other surrounding bedrooms as they are tracked from one place to the next. Clinging to my feet as I try to Taylor Swift it and shake them off. I finally have to put down the stack of clean laundry I was carrying and peel it off because I'm tired wondering what that was. Just throw it in your room you say? Nahhh fagheddaboutit, I'm going to throw that one piece in the garbage just to drive you nuts every time you put that puzzle together and that gaping hole is staring you in the face.
Reason Number 3. I can punish you for things without you even knowing you are being punished.
See you may be unhappy about something I said no to. That's not uncommon. The part that makes it worthwhile for me is I secretly know the why behind it all. Why I 'm making you eat leftovers 2 days in a row (waste food again by emptying your plate and then poorly covering it up in the garbage). Why I'm listening to that song you hate 6 times on repeat (I don't like repetition either, so do what I ask the 1st time). Yes I have a little something for everything. Trust me.
See us moms can get down with the best of them. Plus what's more gangsta than knowing these tactics should keep you out of jail? Boom! Momma Soprano says, that nobody's going to jail so you if you could let Karen know that would be great.
I've recently created a fagheeddaboutit box. What is this you wonder? Well this is a jail/hiding spot for things that drive mommy crazy. Strictly in relation to items that people in my house just said ahhhh fagdddaboutit and dropped said item they were holding right were they stood. Then carried on. No it need not make sense. Hot? Sure just put your sweater two steps over the threshold of the kitchen right here on the floor. Hang it up? Put it in your room? Fahgedddaboudit. Socks wet? Just go ahead step out of them right here in the hallway and leave it for others to step on and also wet their socks. Don't bother putting them down the laundry chute that's RIGHT NEXT TO YOU....Nope, Fagheeddaboutit. Please, like the makeup of a mine field if you could also ensure that if I was successful in catching the first one and stepping over it that you put the mate to that sock (also wet) in another location of inconvenience. Thanks. So I pick up these things lock them in the box and now you have to earn them back.
This makes sense, good location.>>>>>>
 | |||
| Now you can Fahhhhgedddabout it! |
Reason number 2. Mental warfare that keeps on giving is way more effective than cutting off a finger that they will eventually learn to function without.
What fun is a puzzle with all the pieces?? Nah keeping them all together in the box? My children think that is OCD or something. No the right way to store a puzzle is complete and utter chaos on the floor of not only your bedroom but all other surrounding bedrooms as they are tracked from one place to the next. Clinging to my feet as I try to Taylor Swift it and shake them off. I finally have to put down the stack of clean laundry I was carrying and peel it off because I'm tired wondering what that was. Just throw it in your room you say? Nahhh fagheddaboutit, I'm going to throw that one piece in the garbage just to drive you nuts every time you put that puzzle together and that gaping hole is staring you in the face.
Reason Number 3. I can punish you for things without you even knowing you are being punished.
See you may be unhappy about something I said no to. That's not uncommon. The part that makes it worthwhile for me is I secretly know the why behind it all. Why I 'm making you eat leftovers 2 days in a row (waste food again by emptying your plate and then poorly covering it up in the garbage). Why I'm listening to that song you hate 6 times on repeat (I don't like repetition either, so do what I ask the 1st time). Yes I have a little something for everything. Trust me.
See us moms can get down with the best of them. Plus what's more gangsta than knowing these tactics should keep you out of jail? Boom! Momma Soprano says, that nobody's going to jail so you if you could let Karen know that would be great.
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