Well it's been a while since I have had a chance to write, thanks Julie for the reminder :) In case you are wondering if the children previously mentioned in recent blogs are still for sale, the answer is actually NO.......... That's right, they are now free to the first bidder, any takers? So I know every kid goes through it but it is safe to say I am a little, well quite frankly very astonished that the boy has been stealing from me! Yes that's right, literally taking food out of his own mouth...and he's the smart one? Now there is a back story to how this was discovered so here we go. This one will be a long one so go get your coffee and snuggle up.
Once upon a time...ha just kidding. So when I get home at night after I change out of my work clothes and into my pj's I empty my pockets into a wicker basket on my dresser. This usually means lip gloss and any money and possibly a hair tie or two possibly earrings end up in this basket. Then the last step in the morning after I get dressed is to apply lip gloss and put said money into my pocket before fighting with the kids (who have been ready and doing nothing for the last 10minutes, but now all of a sudden have to go to the bathroom, need to find gloves, toys, lunches, reinvent the wheel etc).
Monday, December 27, 2010
Tuesday, June 15, 2010
Future Lawyers?
So I have one very important question. When will my kids stop arguing?
If I have to be the judge and jury one more time on who did it, who is grounded, and who is going to pay for it if I come in there one more time I might just scream. They continually whine and fight and blame the other and my ears are at a point where I am sure they may just start to bleed. The thing that gets me is the oldest whining about how it's all her fault as he is getting punished and sent to his room he is crying between bouts of possessed accusatory rants about how "YOU MADE ME GET IN TROUBLE, but mommmmeeeeeeee wahhhhhh leave me a lone YOU DID THIS"!! Mooooooooooom oooooo. The other is crying and smiling slyly at the same time not quite sure how much trouble she is in yet but clearly wanting to enjoy her victory rejoicing on the inside about how she has sent her brother over the edge before her sentence is carried out. I have explained this to him several times that you are 7 she is 4, dont' give her what she wants. If you are willing to SCREAM at her over singing the wrong lyrics to a song (which by the way she is doing on purpose just to piss you off and get you in trouble...mission accomplished) then you are actually at fault for not controlling your emotions. I don't give a good gosh darn if she is singing Pdiddy had a farm and bingo was his name o boots with the fur nothin on your face babe. It isn't reaching out and grabbing you and you aren't bleeding from it so NO BODY YELLS (I'm yelling now) IN THIS HOUSE AGAIN ARE WE CLEAR?!!!!!?
Don't get me wrong though, that little one is a crazy type of devious vindictive little rascal. I am convinced her goal in life is to see him upset. No matter how many times she is grounded, or scolded, or punished, or toys taken away. If she can inflict emotional distress on the boy even if she has to pay for it later, well her mouth waters just thinking about it. Gladly serving a nights stay in her room over and over again she lives with no regrets. Only one thought running through her mind, at any and all cost make him pay. Pay? Pay For what? Well your guess is as good as mine because if you asked me, he just isn't worth it. She does her job and is good at it except for one little thought that hadn't crossed her mind... I wrote the book on that honey and it's copy written. I hold the patent, the rights, and they are reserved chick! So for every emotional breakdown you put him through just know that I will be there to ground you as well because I know 96% of the time you are behind his frustration (just ask your aunt or grandma).
Now uunfortunately he isn't catching on to the game fast enough, I hate to punish him but a mom's gotta do what a mom's gotta do. Hopefully he heeds my advice from behind enemy lines and lets her fall from grace alone. Either way I am going to invest in ear plugs because if one more person tries to plead their case to me about why it is her and not me or he and not I might just ground every kid in America! Let's hope they are just practicing for law school or that they learn to get along because living in my home has been quite unbearable for the past few weeks and I might institute muzzles if I am referee for one more brawl.
I know some are snickering right now. Some that are related to me may even be daring to think the words that I some how deserved this hell....let me tell you two things. I shall remind you there was only one of me, and are you free to babysit? :)
If I have to be the judge and jury one more time on who did it, who is grounded, and who is going to pay for it if I come in there one more time I might just scream. They continually whine and fight and blame the other and my ears are at a point where I am sure they may just start to bleed. The thing that gets me is the oldest whining about how it's all her fault as he is getting punished and sent to his room he is crying between bouts of possessed accusatory rants about how "YOU MADE ME GET IN TROUBLE, but mommmmeeeeeeee wahhhhhh leave me a lone YOU DID THIS"!! Mooooooooooom oooooo. The other is crying and smiling slyly at the same time not quite sure how much trouble she is in yet but clearly wanting to enjoy her victory rejoicing on the inside about how she has sent her brother over the edge before her sentence is carried out. I have explained this to him several times that you are 7 she is 4, dont' give her what she wants. If you are willing to SCREAM at her over singing the wrong lyrics to a song (which by the way she is doing on purpose just to piss you off and get you in trouble...mission accomplished) then you are actually at fault for not controlling your emotions. I don't give a good gosh darn if she is singing Pdiddy had a farm and bingo was his name o boots with the fur nothin on your face babe. It isn't reaching out and grabbing you and you aren't bleeding from it so NO BODY YELLS (I'm yelling now) IN THIS HOUSE AGAIN ARE WE CLEAR?!!!!!?
Don't get me wrong though, that little one is a crazy type of devious vindictive little rascal. I am convinced her goal in life is to see him upset. No matter how many times she is grounded, or scolded, or punished, or toys taken away. If she can inflict emotional distress on the boy even if she has to pay for it later, well her mouth waters just thinking about it. Gladly serving a nights stay in her room over and over again she lives with no regrets. Only one thought running through her mind, at any and all cost make him pay. Pay? Pay For what? Well your guess is as good as mine because if you asked me, he just isn't worth it. She does her job and is good at it except for one little thought that hadn't crossed her mind... I wrote the book on that honey and it's copy written. I hold the patent, the rights, and they are reserved chick! So for every emotional breakdown you put him through just know that I will be there to ground you as well because I know 96% of the time you are behind his frustration (just ask your aunt or grandma).
Now uunfortunately he isn't catching on to the game fast enough, I hate to punish him but a mom's gotta do what a mom's gotta do. Hopefully he heeds my advice from behind enemy lines and lets her fall from grace alone. Either way I am going to invest in ear plugs because if one more person tries to plead their case to me about why it is her and not me or he and not I might just ground every kid in America! Let's hope they are just practicing for law school or that they learn to get along because living in my home has been quite unbearable for the past few weeks and I might institute muzzles if I am referee for one more brawl.
I know some are snickering right now. Some that are related to me may even be daring to think the words that I some how deserved this hell....let me tell you two things. I shall remind you there was only one of me, and are you free to babysit? :)
Thursday, June 3, 2010
Rude People
And now deep thoughts
For those of you who hate your jobs. Here are some tips to help you get through your day.
1. Don't be mean to me because Heaven forbid I contact you to get things acomplished and now you
might have to do about 1/4th of what you are actually getting paid to do. Despite what you might think, I didn't wake up thinking of ways to ruin your day and actually I would rather not interact with you at all.
2. Did you know that your job is not the only one in the world and you could do something that is called apply for a different one? Here is how it works. It's kind of the same thing that you did right before you got that job that you go to every day and curse those that dare to speak to you. Except for this time you pick the job you want, one that won't cause you to sacrifice small animals at the end of the day and then apply.
3. I am not the one that hired you so don't blame me. I actually have some questions about that decision.
4. There are plenty of people without jobs in this economy right now, maybe you should spend just 4 hours with the ones that actually want to work and then see how much you hate what you do. I gaurantee sittin on your keister scowling at people and getting paid for it, is a heck of a lot better than pounding the streets applying for anything and everything while worrying whether or not you will have enough to pay your bills.
5. Did you know that pissing and moaning about it on a regular basis doesn't improve how you actually feel about being in the place where you will spend most of your life? On the contrary it will actually just make you appear pathetic. Try one thing for me. The next person that comes up and talks to you, smile and listen to what they need, then do it. See how they didn't call you a witch when they walked away? Felt good didn't it? All of your days could be like this :)
6. Everyone is entitled to a bad day, yours was over 364 days ago...move on
7. Did you know that probably over half the world doesn't actually click their heels togethor on the way out the door in the morning? This means the rest of us are probably just as miserable as you, we just do something called deal with it. No one is ever 100% happy all the time, we just realize it isn't the entire worlds fault we are pissy. We take it out in other ways like laugh at the person who tripped up the escalator or switch out the sugar for salt. You know the smaller things in life.
8. Final tip....if you git loud wit me, prepare for me to call SaCURRRRRity :)
So remember if I come to your drive through window, checkout lane, or dial your extension in customer service.....There is always the option of quitting? Because if you keep it up there is something you should know... I look nice and I might be nice most of the time....if you mess with my emotions and I am giving you my money, I will spit fire at your blankity blank blank
Have a nice day now :)
For those of you who hate your jobs. Here are some tips to help you get through your day.
1. Don't be mean to me because Heaven forbid I contact you to get things acomplished and now you
might have to do about 1/4th of what you are actually getting paid to do. Despite what you might think, I didn't wake up thinking of ways to ruin your day and actually I would rather not interact with you at all.
2. Did you know that your job is not the only one in the world and you could do something that is called apply for a different one? Here is how it works. It's kind of the same thing that you did right before you got that job that you go to every day and curse those that dare to speak to you. Except for this time you pick the job you want, one that won't cause you to sacrifice small animals at the end of the day and then apply.
3. I am not the one that hired you so don't blame me. I actually have some questions about that decision.
4. There are plenty of people without jobs in this economy right now, maybe you should spend just 4 hours with the ones that actually want to work and then see how much you hate what you do. I gaurantee sittin on your keister scowling at people and getting paid for it, is a heck of a lot better than pounding the streets applying for anything and everything while worrying whether or not you will have enough to pay your bills.
5. Did you know that pissing and moaning about it on a regular basis doesn't improve how you actually feel about being in the place where you will spend most of your life? On the contrary it will actually just make you appear pathetic. Try one thing for me. The next person that comes up and talks to you, smile and listen to what they need, then do it. See how they didn't call you a witch when they walked away? Felt good didn't it? All of your days could be like this :)
6. Everyone is entitled to a bad day, yours was over 364 days ago...move on
7. Did you know that probably over half the world doesn't actually click their heels togethor on the way out the door in the morning? This means the rest of us are probably just as miserable as you, we just do something called deal with it. No one is ever 100% happy all the time, we just realize it isn't the entire worlds fault we are pissy. We take it out in other ways like laugh at the person who tripped up the escalator or switch out the sugar for salt. You know the smaller things in life.
8. Final tip....if you git loud wit me, prepare for me to call SaCURRRRRity :)
So remember if I come to your drive through window, checkout lane, or dial your extension in customer service.....There is always the option of quitting? Because if you keep it up there is something you should know... I look nice and I might be nice most of the time....if you mess with my emotions and I am giving you my money, I will spit fire at your blankity blank blank
Have a nice day now :)
Sunday, March 28, 2010
Survival of the unfittest
So to begin I should warn you...this one may get a little whiny ;)
I have been sick for the past week and not very pleased about it. On top of the mountains of things piling up at work, I can't help but think about all of the things that I am not doing that I should be around the house. Regular healthy home cooked meals, cleaning, productive creative use of time, prepping for the upcoming week i.e. sewing patches on uniforms, bagging snacks, picking out costume for theme day at school, and grocery shopping are things of the past. However, through all of this a learning experience has presented itself that I would like to share, sort of tips for survival if you will.
Things I have learned to accept this past week
1. The laundry is probably able to walk itself over to the wash and jump in by now, if somehow detergent could get in there this would be a benefit.
2. The kids don't need to worry about a tan as by now they have a nice thick layer of dirt covering them I'm sure..could this be deemed sunblock, is there an SPF in dirt, I'll have to check on that?
3. Crackers, cheese, cheerios, and peanut butter is not a meal but if you want to feed a family from the couch this is your life
4. Altough normally I would not condone regular tv watching for more than 1 hour a day...It's the best babysitter in the world while sleeping away the flu. This and fenced in yards with windows large enough to see the yard from the couch...Thank you GOD
And finally the most crucial
5. Like sharks to blood in the water...kids can smell a weekened state. Ignoring them frequently or pretending to sleep while they beg for things is the only way to survive these dangerous attacks while you regain your strenght for the next battle. May seem cowardly to you, but you'll live to fight another day ;)
I must you warn you they will ask for all kinds of outrageous request in hopes that your delerium will score a disallowed sugary beverage, cookies for breakfast, or a chance to use scissors to spread peanut butter. Like in the tale from the Bible fasting for 40 days and nights, you will need all your strength to deny these temptations because unfortunately sometimes they might make sense for a fleeting moment as you are off your game. Stay Strong
All this knowledge on the road to recovery has been helpful so I thought I might pass it on
Now to share a funny moment I have caught as I am in my slowed down state and all I can do is sit on the couch. I am listening to the kids and it's a good form of entertainment
I was successfully able to distract the kids from bothering me and offered up a pair of binoculars to prompt bird watching. While the kids were attempting to locate the other binoculars this is the conversation coming from the bedroom. I can't help but snicker.
7 year old...Ok look in my toy chest I will look in the bins
4 year old....K
7 Year old....Are you even looking or are you playing?
4 Year old...Yeah
7 Year old (frustrated) You are getting off track, look for binoculars!
4 Year old...Ok
7 Year old...You're still just playing with toys and that's not what I asked!
4 Year old...oooo look what's this?
~ Seems that 7 year old got a little lesson in parenting ;) Welcome to my world
I have been sick for the past week and not very pleased about it. On top of the mountains of things piling up at work, I can't help but think about all of the things that I am not doing that I should be around the house. Regular healthy home cooked meals, cleaning, productive creative use of time, prepping for the upcoming week i.e. sewing patches on uniforms, bagging snacks, picking out costume for theme day at school, and grocery shopping are things of the past. However, through all of this a learning experience has presented itself that I would like to share, sort of tips for survival if you will.
Things I have learned to accept this past week
1. The laundry is probably able to walk itself over to the wash and jump in by now, if somehow detergent could get in there this would be a benefit.
2. The kids don't need to worry about a tan as by now they have a nice thick layer of dirt covering them I'm sure..could this be deemed sunblock, is there an SPF in dirt, I'll have to check on that?
3. Crackers, cheese, cheerios, and peanut butter is not a meal but if you want to feed a family from the couch this is your life
4. Altough normally I would not condone regular tv watching for more than 1 hour a day...It's the best babysitter in the world while sleeping away the flu. This and fenced in yards with windows large enough to see the yard from the couch...Thank you GOD
And finally the most crucial
5. Like sharks to blood in the water...kids can smell a weekened state. Ignoring them frequently or pretending to sleep while they beg for things is the only way to survive these dangerous attacks while you regain your strenght for the next battle. May seem cowardly to you, but you'll live to fight another day ;)
I must you warn you they will ask for all kinds of outrageous request in hopes that your delerium will score a disallowed sugary beverage, cookies for breakfast, or a chance to use scissors to spread peanut butter. Like in the tale from the Bible fasting for 40 days and nights, you will need all your strength to deny these temptations because unfortunately sometimes they might make sense for a fleeting moment as you are off your game. Stay Strong
All this knowledge on the road to recovery has been helpful so I thought I might pass it on
Now to share a funny moment I have caught as I am in my slowed down state and all I can do is sit on the couch. I am listening to the kids and it's a good form of entertainment
I was successfully able to distract the kids from bothering me and offered up a pair of binoculars to prompt bird watching. While the kids were attempting to locate the other binoculars this is the conversation coming from the bedroom. I can't help but snicker.
7 year old...Ok look in my toy chest I will look in the bins
4 year old....K
7 Year old....Are you even looking or are you playing?
4 Year old...Yeah
7 Year old (frustrated) You are getting off track, look for binoculars!
4 Year old...Ok
7 Year old...You're still just playing with toys and that's not what I asked!
4 Year old...oooo look what's this?
~ Seems that 7 year old got a little lesson in parenting ;) Welcome to my world
Friday, March 26, 2010
And then
So a friend asked the question recently...Why is it that when kids are well behaved parents are shocked? It's what we expect and demand of them right? Awww really?
I am dumbfounded that this was a question some one thought in their head and then before it was dismissed as irrationality, it somehow snuck through and represented itself as a an actual question. Poor kidless Joe didn't even realize this phantom inquisition was actually a cruel brain fart disguised to make them appear unintelligent. Yup they actually thought about it and after rolling it around in their melon decided it made sense to verbalize it.
I could hear the slow motion in my head like in the movies Oooooooooooooowwwwwwwwo Nooooooooooowaaaaaaaaaa as I looked at the other parents around me. My first thought was to take cover and distance myself from the mouth those words just came out of. But then I realized I kinda felt bad for him. He had no idea what he had just said to a group of mothers was like shouting fire in a crowded theatre.
I hoped by being the first one to answer I could downplay the situation and lighten the mood. I said "Joe"( we will continue to call him, to protect his privacy) "What we ask of our children and what they normally do are two separate things, which is why the surprise when things are done right".
Mapping it out for him I explained, "For example I tell my children please don't touch that", as I see the need lingering on their tiny munchkin faces, their eyes glazed thinking of all the shiny button combinations they can press on grandma's new cell phone. (The combinations that will inevitably cause a system overload of some sort and result in my checkbook weighing a little less). I noticed this first directive doesn't look to have stunned the beast err um child so I fire another warning round, louder this time...DO NOT TOUCH THAT PLEASE (don't you love how you are technically yelling but you use words like please, to sound like you are being nice and rational?) Anyhow I look back and notice that time I had roused the child from their trance of destruction, their gaze fixated for a moment on me then back to the phone weighing the odds. I pull the pin out of the grenade...I SAID DO NOT!!!
Of course like the game of telephone by the time it travels down their ear canals, bounces off of their Eustachian tubes, and then transmits to their brain, it sounds like this.... Quick, touch that as hard as you can and break it! See if you can hide it before she notices and if not, then act like you didn't hear her! If she gives you any flack say I didn't know. Example is shown below.
Me: Didn't I ask you NOT to touch that?!...Kid: SorRRRYYYEEE (as if you are over reacting) I didn't know. (yup, this is your life)
Unfortunately evidence would not hold up in court about the transmittal of said message so we will have to handle the situation carefully. Most of the time it involves the parent being repetitious using a form of brainwashing passed down over the centuries from one parent to the other. You do this by using such terms as; I asked you not to, I said don't, Please stop, Don't touch! Until the child can no longer hear these words and self combusts or does what you asked. Either reaction is suitable after the cycle repeats itself at least 999 times.
Oddly enough it is like both parties are prisoners of war.
The ever well meaning parent forced in a treacherous circle of saying the same phrases over and over and over and over again until they cant stand the sound of their own voice and hope that by some small miracle their vocal chords give out leaving them powerless to use the words ever again.
Or the desired outcome occurs, the child about ready to jam qtips down their ears until they bleed just to not have to hear the words DON'T TOUCH THAT even 1 more time following the recent 757 and counting; Miraculously deems it easier to just follow the instruction.
Pavlov would be proud ;)
I am dumbfounded that this was a question some one thought in their head and then before it was dismissed as irrationality, it somehow snuck through and represented itself as a an actual question. Poor kidless Joe didn't even realize this phantom inquisition was actually a cruel brain fart disguised to make them appear unintelligent. Yup they actually thought about it and after rolling it around in their melon decided it made sense to verbalize it.
I could hear the slow motion in my head like in the movies Oooooooooooooowwwwwwwwo Nooooooooooowaaaaaaaaaa as I looked at the other parents around me. My first thought was to take cover and distance myself from the mouth those words just came out of. But then I realized I kinda felt bad for him. He had no idea what he had just said to a group of mothers was like shouting fire in a crowded theatre.
I hoped by being the first one to answer I could downplay the situation and lighten the mood. I said "Joe"( we will continue to call him, to protect his privacy) "What we ask of our children and what they normally do are two separate things, which is why the surprise when things are done right".
Mapping it out for him I explained, "For example I tell my children please don't touch that", as I see the need lingering on their tiny munchkin faces, their eyes glazed thinking of all the shiny button combinations they can press on grandma's new cell phone. (The combinations that will inevitably cause a system overload of some sort and result in my checkbook weighing a little less). I noticed this first directive doesn't look to have stunned the beast err um child so I fire another warning round, louder this time...DO NOT TOUCH THAT PLEASE (don't you love how you are technically yelling but you use words like please, to sound like you are being nice and rational?) Anyhow I look back and notice that time I had roused the child from their trance of destruction, their gaze fixated for a moment on me then back to the phone weighing the odds. I pull the pin out of the grenade...I SAID DO NOT!!!
Of course like the game of telephone by the time it travels down their ear canals, bounces off of their Eustachian tubes, and then transmits to their brain, it sounds like this.... Quick, touch that as hard as you can and break it! See if you can hide it before she notices and if not, then act like you didn't hear her! If she gives you any flack say I didn't know. Example is shown below.
Me: Didn't I ask you NOT to touch that?!...Kid: SorRRRYYYEEE (as if you are over reacting) I didn't know. (yup, this is your life)
Unfortunately evidence would not hold up in court about the transmittal of said message so we will have to handle the situation carefully. Most of the time it involves the parent being repetitious using a form of brainwashing passed down over the centuries from one parent to the other. You do this by using such terms as; I asked you not to, I said don't, Please stop, Don't touch! Until the child can no longer hear these words and self combusts or does what you asked. Either reaction is suitable after the cycle repeats itself at least 999 times.
Oddly enough it is like both parties are prisoners of war.
The ever well meaning parent forced in a treacherous circle of saying the same phrases over and over and over and over again until they cant stand the sound of their own voice and hope that by some small miracle their vocal chords give out leaving them powerless to use the words ever again.
Or the desired outcome occurs, the child about ready to jam qtips down their ears until they bleed just to not have to hear the words DON'T TOUCH THAT even 1 more time following the recent 757 and counting; Miraculously deems it easier to just follow the instruction.
Pavlov would be proud ;)
Monday, March 22, 2010
Bathroom Etiquitte for Children
Well I figured all parents feel the same way that I do. 1 bathroom 4 people it's bound to get hectic. I am venting because no matter how many times I say it...No one listens. I figured I would again, this time in writing. Even though we know the reply will always be...(even seconds after reading this) the world famous reply from every child to ever walk the planet..."I didn't know" or "No one told me that" .
These are rules for going to the bathroom. I know we have all seen the office version well I am posting up a home version on my bathroom door, well because I am tired mainly. Here goes
#1 Do not barge in the door and disturb me when I am in the bathroom...do I come in while your pants are down?
#2 Don't stand outside the door and try to have a meaningless conversation with me, I don't care and won't until I am done doing whatever I am doing on the other side of the door
#3 Don't stand and knock until you wear down my patience and I scream at you to go away! I heard you the first five hundred knocks and not answering was my strategy to see if you would get the message...you didn't, GO AWAY
#4 Do not try to tattle on someone through the keyhole...Unless that person is playing with matches while drinking gasoline, balancing on power lines, talking to strangers, and juggling knives...It can wait! Trust me ;)
#5 Do NOT slide things under the door! Sure it gets my attention, but I am sure it wasn't the effect you were going for as I will make a note to ground you later for it.
#6 Do not stand outside the door and poorly fake cry hoping I will be worried enough to answer. I won't, I know the difference between hurt and attention...This will also result in negative attention which trust me you don't want, it ends in punishment.
#7 Do not stand outside the door and argue hoping I rip open the door and intervene...I will and it won't be pretty. See rules 5-6 to find out what occurs
#8 Don't yell at the other one louder than usual hoping that it seeps through the door and reaches my ears from the other room because you know better than to stand outside the door by now...I will still be pissed and delve out punishment for this disruption.
The most important rule of all
#9 Just like the Bible says treat others how you would like to be treated. Remember that one day in the very very very distant future you will be a parent and the bathroom will be your only escape...I will teach classes to grandchildren
Untill justice is served I chant, Pee in peace! Pee in peace!
These are rules for going to the bathroom. I know we have all seen the office version well I am posting up a home version on my bathroom door, well because I am tired mainly. Here goes
#1 Do not barge in the door and disturb me when I am in the bathroom...do I come in while your pants are down?
#2 Don't stand outside the door and try to have a meaningless conversation with me, I don't care and won't until I am done doing whatever I am doing on the other side of the door
#3 Don't stand and knock until you wear down my patience and I scream at you to go away! I heard you the first five hundred knocks and not answering was my strategy to see if you would get the message...you didn't, GO AWAY
#4 Do not try to tattle on someone through the keyhole...Unless that person is playing with matches while drinking gasoline, balancing on power lines, talking to strangers, and juggling knives...It can wait! Trust me ;)
#5 Do NOT slide things under the door! Sure it gets my attention, but I am sure it wasn't the effect you were going for as I will make a note to ground you later for it.
#6 Do not stand outside the door and poorly fake cry hoping I will be worried enough to answer. I won't, I know the difference between hurt and attention...This will also result in negative attention which trust me you don't want, it ends in punishment.
#7 Do not stand outside the door and argue hoping I rip open the door and intervene...I will and it won't be pretty. See rules 5-6 to find out what occurs
#8 Don't yell at the other one louder than usual hoping that it seeps through the door and reaches my ears from the other room because you know better than to stand outside the door by now...I will still be pissed and delve out punishment for this disruption.
The most important rule of all
#9 Just like the Bible says treat others how you would like to be treated. Remember that one day in the very very very distant future you will be a parent and the bathroom will be your only escape...I will teach classes to grandchildren
Untill justice is served I chant, Pee in peace! Pee in peace!
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