This blog covers everything that occurs in my everyday life. Parenting with a twist is my main focus. I write about school, kids, marriage, normal human interactions and how they effect me. I try to see the humor in most things so I hope you will too.
Welcome to my blog! I often use this as a way to express my feelings or frustration with situations. Hope you enjoy reading it and it serves to provide you with a little entertainment as well.
Monday, April 15, 2013
Say it again!
Wants to know are there classes in the womb or do kids come preprogramed to make you mad? Why is it that so many children have the same reactions to normal communication with their parents? I swear any direction I give is something that my psychic children what? ALREADY KNEW! Of course you did that's why you weren't doing it until I said to. I am guessing you were just waiting till you thought it was a good time for it right? Funny how that always happens. Pick up your socks "I Know". Clean up your dishes..."I know". Of course there is the variation of this carefully polite form of your kids getting away with basically telling you up yours. The old "I was" gets thrown around from time to time. Finish your homework "I was". "I am", "I will", and "I was about to" are all just verbal forms of the middle finger if you ask me. It is just surprising to me that it's such a natural reaction for so many children. Do they talk about this at school on the playground? Trading stories of how to take over the world one day and how they single handedly drove their parents crazy? I mean picture it a crowd of first graders teaching shoe tying techniques while mulling over which phrase gets their parents goat the most. Their tiny voices teeth missing and all saying "ohhh wisten to dis so I towd her I know I was about to and her head exploded" they all giggle and then run and play tag. Well I have news for them, parents need to fight back! I am seriously fining the next little person that responds to me with any of these choices or any variation of it that I haven't heard yet with house chores. Sometimes I just want to shake them and scream BUT YOU DIDN'T KNOW!!! So I will be giving them the opportunity to demonstrate exactly what it is they know like how to do laundry, or make a bed. It will be the I KNOW KIT or the I'm About to....(pull from the box) sweep the floor and I will answer with... I know! ha ha ha in yo face kids!
The second question I have is who here has invisible children you didn't know about? They are bad little invisible children too because they just run around all day messing everything up and wreaking havoc. Oh you parents didn't know you had children named Not Me, I Didn't do it, It wasn't me and I don't know? Well yes apparently they were an easy pregnancy and childbirth was a snap because I didn't even know they were here. On the plus side they don't cost me as much as the others do they eat almost nothing and must walk around naked because I never buy them clothes. They do however cause me stress and anger though. They just run from room to room leaving their things on the floor and stealing only one out of a pair of my kids shoes. That little not me gets up In the middle of the night too and touches thing he shouldn't. It seems that they are just trouble makers. Perhaps they are trying to get our attention because they are jealous that us parents never call on them? It seems the kids are the only ones that talk to them. Maybe we should make an effort and see if that helps them feel better. You know when we are in the bathroom and someone is screaming moooooooooooom Mom! Should I just answer...Not me? I'll try it tonight when someone asks me what's for dinner I'll just say I don't know I didn't do it. It is important that we show equal love an attention to all of our children I suppose so I'll give it a go and let you know how it works parents.
So far the kids are winning the war. I mean think about it we do everything for them, and work to buy the things they want and need and they just play all day. Wake up! They have turned us into their slaves. Nice one kids nice one, I will require return favors from them now that I am hip to the secret. You know things like chores, and studying will be their work to earn their keep. I'm sure they will think of some way to pawn it all off on Not me or I didn't know though. Well done mini militia I salute you but we parents live to fight another day.