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Welcome to my blog! I often use this as a way to express my feelings or frustration with situations. Hope you enjoy reading it and it serves to provide you with a little entertainment as well.




Monday, March 22, 2010

Bathroom Etiquitte for Children

Well I figured all parents feel the same way that I do. 1 bathroom 4 people it's bound to get hectic. I am venting because no matter how many times I say it...No one listens. I figured I would again, this time in writing. Even though we know the reply will always be...(even seconds after reading this) the world famous reply from every child to ever walk the planet..."I didn't know" or "No one told me that" .

These are rules for going to the bathroom. I know we have all seen the office version well I am posting up a home version on my bathroom door, well because I am tired mainly. Here goes


#1 Do not barge in the door and disturb me when I am in the bathroom...do I come in while your pants are down?

#2 Don't stand outside the door and try to have a meaningless conversation with me, I don't care and won't until I am done doing whatever I am doing on the other side of the door

#3 Don't stand and knock until you wear down my patience and I scream at you to go away! I heard you the first five hundred knocks and not answering was my strategy to see if you would get the message...you didn't, GO AWAY

#4 Do not try to tattle on someone through the keyhole...Unless that person is playing with matches while drinking gasoline, balancing on power lines, talking to strangers, and juggling knives...It can wait! Trust me ;)

#5 Do NOT slide things under the door! Sure it gets my attention, but I am sure it wasn't the effect you were going for as I will make a note to ground you later for it.

#6 Do not stand outside the door and poorly fake cry hoping I will be worried enough to answer. I won't, I know the difference between hurt and attention...This will also result in negative attention which trust me you don't want, it ends in punishment.

#7 Do not stand outside the door and argue hoping I rip open the door and intervene...I will and it won't be pretty. See rules 5-6 to find out what occurs

#8 Don't yell at the other one louder than usual hoping that it seeps through the door and reaches my ears from the other room because you know better than to stand outside the door by now...I will still be pissed and delve out punishment for this disruption.

The most important rule of all

#9 Just like the Bible says treat others how you would like to be treated. Remember that one day in the very very very distant future you will be a parent and the bathroom will be your only escape...I will teach classes to grandchildren

Untill justice is served I chant, Pee in peace! Pee in peace!

3 comments:

  1. LOVE IT!!! Margie S. Sisk

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  2. HA HA HA! I'm catching up on your last few entires. I Didn't know you started writing again. THIS IS HILARIOUS!!! :)

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  3. Yeah I am sporadic lol thank you :)

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